The Questioning Spirit

SANDY [37]

 

Why, why, why?

Why set as examples

women too thin to be healthy?

Why set as examples

women too thin to be the norm?

Why set as examples

women too thin for us to follow?

 

Why hold as good

thinness beyond health?

Why hold as good

fleshless bones?

Why hold as good

women so thin,

their spirits encaged in bones?

their souls imprisoned in ribs?

and their hearts trapped in torturing deprivation,

the very deprivation that traps us,

traps us in despair

traps us in a deadly battle?

 

Who made up the rules?

Who inflicted them on us,

crushing our essence

and depriving us of joy?

 

I want to fight back

Yet it feels like a lonely battle,

ever surrounded

with media thinness;

Ever surrounded

By others entrapped.

I grow weary of the battle.

I must fight on.

I am my only hope.

 

Though thinness ever tempts me,

I know no joy

from starving myself

Only pain, greyness and hopelessness

ever striving

ever failing.

I could never be thin enough-

Thin enough to free my spirit

Thin enough to free my soul.

 

Rather freedom lies

In stepping back from the lies

in listening to my body

in caring for who I am.

 

I am worthy of life

If for no other reason

Than that I exist

That I have a heart

That I have a spirit

That I have a soul

 

I have fought to survive

I won’t give up now.